Christmas Addiction

Merry Christmas everyone. I'm having a pretty good Christmas. I got expensive presents and my brother got more than me. One of the presents was a Microsoft Surface and I already had an iPad. I took out all my pictures, videos, and anything that could belong to me and gave it to my mother as a Christmas gift since she got everyone gifts and she didn't really get anything. I left some games of mine on there like Unblock Me, and Flow. She wanted to try the Flow game and guess what? Now she's a Flow addict! I love the game myself and so does my dad, and my brother, and now my MOTHER. Ay, the whole family is addicted. They called me up a while ago to help them with one of the levels. I love puzzle games, but I never knew they could be so addicting. Good luck to me.

Hot Chocolate

I haven't drank hot chocolate since maybe the 4th grade I think. I've been meaning to drink it again, but chocolate has been making me nauseous and now I'm afraid of hot liquids. I can't believe I still remember this. Alright, I think this happened in 4th grade or so. All I know is that it was in elementary school. I was still living in Germany at the time. During lunch, they were giving out hot chocolate for the little kids. It was free and many of my classmates and friends were getting it. I decided to try some of my own. The elementary school I went to was very small and had many, many, MANY kids. The cafeteria wasn't able to hold all of us, especially with the limited tables. I got a cup of hot chocolate and placed it on my tray. I went back to my table and it was getting awfully crowded. We had to keep scooting down the seats and my hot chocolate was about to spill out. Now, I get these spaced out moments, which I still do. I don't remember what happened, but a kid knocked into me and knocked the scorching cup of hot chocolate onto my lap. It splashed onto the ground and onto my abdomen. I started crying, because it was BURNING my lap. They had to take me to the nurse for a bag of ice. I was also wet and it left a light brown stain on the front of my pants. I had to walk around the rest of the school day with wet pants, a hot lap, and a cold bag of ice inbetween my legs. I haven't drank hot chocolate since that day. Or any other hot liquid, besides soup. But, that's a different story.

What Should I be Looking Out For?

People keep freaking out that the world is going to end on December 21st. Now, I don't believe that. Some stuff are true from the Mayan calendars, but aren't the Mayans form Mexico? Wouldn't they have focused on that one area? In other parts of the world, it's already the next day. And once it hits midnight where I live, I'm sure it'll already be December 22nd somewhere else. I was reading comments on a YouTube video where they say they have "proof" that the world is going to end tomorrow. Most of the comments were form Australians. My favorite would have to be this one Australian saying "It's December 21st here. WTF." So funny! Gotta love Australians. I believe the world will end when God says it will. So far, I didn't get a message from the Lord saying the world is going to end. Plus, tomorrow is my parent's wedding anniversary. So, my mom doesn't believe in it either but she ends up joking saying, "Wah! The world's going to end on ym anniversary." I really love my mom. I'm sure tomorrow will be like any ordinary/crappy day. Good night everyone! If it's somewhere else then.......good morning. *giggle*

I'm Sick and I Looked Up More School Shootings

I think I got what my mother had before a few days ago. It started with a little sore throat, then I woke up this morning feeling like crap. My body was achy, my nose was runny/stuffy, my head was pounding, and I felt really dizzy. I didn't have a fever but I felt like absolute crap. I'm just glad that my winter break started early. I fell asleep in my parents' bed while they were in the bed, watching tv. They were watching the aftermath of the Connecticut shooting, and I decided to watch some of it. Later, my parents had breakfast while I skipped out on it. My mother went on my father's laptop and started looking up the Columbine shooting. My mother wants to go see the school; she's interested in true crimes that contain family violence.  I don't blame her, it's actually quite interesting to me too. She was watching the documentary of how the shooting was planned out. The video was about 40 minutes long. I fell asleep during half of it. The first half. I payed attention to the last part and then my mother looked at the Virginia Tech massacre. When I looked up some of the shootings, it had to be with either teens or adults that are just an emotional wreck. Either they have a mental disorder or they were bullied. These people are just messed up that they end up going into a shooting spree. Just like the Aurora shooting, where the guy was a medical school drop out and he just went and shot the people at the Batman premiere that night. The scary thing was we were just at the theater to see Ice Age 4. Next morning, Aurora is all over the news. Whenever something like this happens at a school or somewhere else, my mother gives me extra love and thanks God that we're with her. Here's an important lesson in this: Be nice to the people around you. You never know if they're going to snap one day.

Ever Since the School Shooting in Connecticut

My winter break already started but my brother still have this last week. My brother is in middle school and the shooting that happened, happened at an elementary school. My mother just received an e-mail that here will be police roaming around schools in the area. When I went to middle school, they always had police officers around my school just to guide traffic. Now that I'm in high school, we always have police officers because of the constant fighting every day. We always get a small visit from the firetruck and ambulance. My friend is constantly in love with the firemen because of how cute they were. I really don't pay attention to that; my attention would be on the ambulance and paramedics. I don't care if they're cute, I just love ambulances. The pure white, the big red cross, the gurney parked inside-- I'm sorry I'm getting off track. So, now we're going to have police cars roaming around the area of schools. My brother's school is pretty close to where we live and it takes just about 5 minutes to drive him there. My mother worries deathly about us whenever we are at school. Me, because I'm a total klutz and there are fights always going on, and my brother is a special ed. So, after the shooting, she's watching carefully now. I'm sure all the moms and dads out there who saw the shooting are watching your children more carefully now. It's a parents' worst nightmare to hear that their child was in a school shooting or at least an accident. I've never been in a school shooting but back in middle school, we had a lock down, because there was a bear on base. But, the ones that happen constantly are the fire drills. Most of the ones at my school are real ones but they're aren't big fires. They're these little ones that trigger the fire alarms and send firetrucks speeding through the empty road. It's a little ridiculous, to me, but if there's a fire, they have to come. I think the police officers, however, are getting payed a lot where we are because of the constant fighting in my school. I'm scared that one day it'll turn into a school shooting. This kid brought a knife to school once, and was arrested, when he threatened to stab a kid and ended up getting into a big fight with them. So, I'm gonna pray that there won't be a school shooting at mine or any schools, such as my brother's. God Bless you all. Sorry Newtown, Connecticut for the horrific tragedy that happened to you all.

Laptops Aren't Meant To Protect Your Balls

I have these 2 awesome guy friends. One of them will be Chuckie (you know form Rugrats, plus he looks like him) and the other will be.....Sleepy. (He always falls asleep in Art class) These guys are really awesome; they make me laugh and they always tease me. They usually tease my emo friend but they would mostly tease me because she's usually in a bad mood and she squeaks like a mouse if her sides are touched. We always talk about sensitive spots that make you jump and they always poke my sides. I yelp a little bit but now it doesn't really bother me. One day, Sleepy did it to me and I yelped. I looked back at him and said, "One day I'm going to elbow you in the balls!" Now, he was standing slightly by my side but also behind me. I was sitting on a stool and it was possible for a bulls eye. He immediately grabbed his laptop and put it in front of his area. "This will protect me." He says. I thought it would work and I elbowed the laptop. Bad idea. He felt the full blow and leaned forward and quickly put the laptop back on the table. I couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the hour while drawing. Don't worry, he was fine. It didn't hurt that bad, but it's just a boy's instinct to feel that because of all the nerves. Take a note will you boys: Laptops aren't meant to protect your balls.

Coming up Next: Winter Break

On Wednesday, and today were the finals. I was so nervous; I was just afraid of getting a bad grade. Guess what? I bombed both my Algebra and Biology test! Oh joy~! Ugh! I felt so embarrassed. They said the finals were 20% of our grade. If we failed, it could bring us down a letter grade or two. If we did alright, then it could raise us a letter grade. I felt so bad, because I worked hard in order to maintain my grade. I have all A's and like 2 B's. These finals really yanked on my hair for the past few days. When I found out I bombed two tests, I just wanted to drop down to my knees and cry. I've tried so hard and I feel like it was for nothing. My friends did horrible on their tests too. I didn't really feel bad because they failed other quizzes we had in the past. Another bad thing is that it's not over yet. I have to take two more tests for 2 other classes. For the past 2 days, the schedule was really messed up. If there was a test in that class, they made it longer. If the test isn't until the next day, they would shorten it. I was really confused on which classes had tests and what other classes had tests the next day. For tomorrow, it's a half day. I'll only be there for 2 and a half hours, because it's only two more tests. These last tests that I have are Civics and Health. Civics was very difficult for me and I never asked for help. I'm in an Honors class and these kids are so smart. I moved from my average class to my honors because 95% of the class failed their test and had to review old stuff again. So, I was moved. At first, it seemed to simple, but when I heard that if you missed an assignment, you would get detention. Never in my life have I had a detention and I wasn't going to start now nor ever. I was able to maintain an A in that class, but it was just too confusing. I'm really shy but I love talking to teachers. But, for this class, it was just hard and I went back into my shell. I didn't bother to answer or ask questions. Now, I'm scared that I'll bomb both my Civics and Health test. I'm really nervous. I went to check my grade to see how much the test affected my current grade. I actually didn't affect it that much. It brought it down to like...ummm...how could I explain this? Like, I had like a 97% in Math and the test turned it into a 90.3%. Actually not that bad, and my Biology grade isn't a C, it's still a B. So glad that worked out. My Literature teacher said that the first Semester of high school was going to be hard. Trust me, it was. I can't wait till tomorrow, because after tomorrow it's a half day, I'll be done with the 2 tests and my winter break will start. After winter break, the second semester will come and I'll ace it. I'm gonna pray tonight that I do good on my last two tests. Good night!

My Best Friend

My best friend and I have been best friends since the first year of middle school. When I first met her, she was really quiet. The first thing I noticed was her big eraser and it said on it, "For BIG Mistakes." I thought it was a little silly and we both looked at each other. It got very awkward between us and we didn't talk much on the first day. The next day, she sat with me during lunch. I started noticing that we had almost every class together. We started hanging out with each other, and became good friends. During choir, I used to draw while the teacher taught. If we didn't practice on singing, she would just teach us about different composers and so. So, I would draw during those periods and my new friend, Savan, (that'll be her nickname; very close to her name) would watch me draw my Sonic characters. She started following in my footsteps by getting into Sonic and started drawing her own Sonic characters. We both made a new "friend." After we got to know her, I started realizing that she was just a mean bitch. She started taking away my new friend and stole from her. I had to tell my new friend and she said, "She told me that you're lying." I felt like my heart was splitting apart. They started hanging out and the witch started bossing her around. Savan was very innocent and fragile; more innocent than me. She then started getting depressed. I just thought it was the bullying from the witch. It turns out she had depression for a long time and her mother has it too. Her parents are divorced because of domestic abuse. Her mother started getting depressed due to that and pretty much got the life sucked out of her. My friend, Savan, started turning into her mother; stressed and depressed. I couldn't bare it anymore and wanted to help out. But, that witch kept pushing me away and found ways to really stretch my heart out. I went to my mother for advice and she told me to ignore her. It took months for my new friend to come back to me. She had enough of the witch's shenanigans. We started collecting our broken friendship and put it back to together. But, the witch came back and smashed it with a hammer. She took her away again and I was once again alone. I had other friends, but they left me too. They had other friends and started hanging out with them, and left me alone at lunch. I was really stressed out during 6th grade and really couldn't take it anymore. My friend came back and I decided to give her ground rules. Never ever mention the witch's name or talk about her with each other. We started fixing up our friendship and we celebrated the awesome 3 years of our best friendship. There are times where her depression strikes her and she gets those crying episodes. I remember she started crying and we couldn't ask her why. She didn't even know why. She ended up being diagnosed with depression. ( You know just to be sure. ) We're now in high school and things have been great. Well, except for the stressful classes and trying to spend time with each other. Today wasn't a good day, because these boys went through her stuff and took her flashdrive. They ended up looking through her personal stuff. She was so upset. They apologized but she's still pissed off about it. She couldn't stop crying through lunch, and I couldn't see her tears roll down her cheeks. If one of us cried, one of us would react and cry. It was a chain reaction; I tried my best to comfort it. I was really good at the advice. She would ask me and I would give it to her. She always felt better after my advice. Back in middle school, I didn't know what to say and stayed silent. I remember her coming up to me and saying she wanted to kill herself. I stood there, blank stare, and she walked off. I wanted to cry so badly. I didn't want my best friend to die. I knew she was my true friend. Whenever I got sick, she would come with me to the office so I could call my mom. When I started crying, I would hide in the bathroom, and she would follow. Whenever she cried, I tried everything to comfort her. I drew her pictures, and I bought her gifts. I sometimes gave her treats, but what I liked to do was hold her and wait until she calmed down. Sometimes I would whisper stuff to her, saying that everything was ok, and not to worry about it. I hate to see her cry and when she cried today during lunch, I had to do something. Right now, I'm drawing her something and I texted her saying, "Wear your best friend necklace tomorrow. No questions asked." She was pretty questionable but agreed to it. Tomorrow, I'm going to give her the picture and just tell her that she means everything to me. This girl means everything to me. We've been through so many hard times, and we made it through. I love her. She's my best friend. My true friend, in fact. She's just the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't care what people think of us. If we're crazy,alright, we're crazy. No matter what the world says we'll never break apart. I would do anything for her. I remember when she told me that if we were never friends, she would be dead. I'm so glad she stuck through all the hard times. I'm so proud of her. The only thing I worry about is that she's still innocent and I'm afraid of how she'll be in the outside world. I'm afraid of her getting raped or get pregnant early. I'm scared to death if something happens to her. I always watch her, make sure she's safe. As long as I see her smile or laugh, I'm ok. It's hard writing this; I can't cry without mentioning our story.

Lucky Leftie Fetus

Ever since I could remember, I always slept on the left side of the bed, on my left side, in a fetal position. My left arm would be near my head sometimes, but mostly under my head beside it. Then my right arm would be on top of the blanket or on my left arm. My body would always be curled up, my knees bent as if I were in fetal position. I was always comfortable in this condition, and I never slept on my right or on my back. Of course, I woke up with my left arm feeling like pins and needles, but it was usually worth it. The only time I would sleep on my back or on my right side is if I was sick. I would always get nauseous or get vertigo and sit my pillows up right and sleep in a upright position for the rest of the night. I never slept on my back because I'm a bit overweight and my body fat from my abdomen, like sinks in or just lays on top of me and I feel like I could suffocate at night and I could feel it sink inside me, just pushing on me. So, I slept on my side. I've slept on my left side for years. I tried sleeping on my right side, but somehow that just made me dizzy and I could feel the room spinning, or sometimes feel like my eyes would roll into my head. I just stuck to sleeping on my left side. I would always sleep on the left side of the bed too, never the right side, and I only slept in the middle is I were sick. I only slept on the right side when there was a wall near it, but I would still lay on my left side. I was always scared of something touching my back during the night, so somtimes I would freak out if my pillow touched my back. So, I always had my back to the wall when it was on the right side. It was harder when my bed was facing the other way. I wanted my back touching the wall, but then I would have to lay on my right side. My bed right now has no walls touching it except the headboard. The left side of my bed is facing my dresser and the small flat screen tv (I mean small) above the dresser. The bed isn't too close to the dresser so I won't hit my head in the night. I may sleep in one position but my head moves a lot. It would stay with my body, look straight ahead, or sometimes a little bit to the right. I told my Art Club mate that I slept on my left side on the left side of my bed, and she told me that it was good luck sleeping on the left side. I don't believe in good or bad luck. Since I was born on Friday the 13th, people have been freaking out. They called my the "Bad Luck Baby," back in elementary school. I don't sleep on the left side because it's good luck, I just been sleeping like that ever since I was like a small child. I like the left side, and I like sleeping on my left side. The fetal position confuses me though. I'm still scared of the dark a bit, so I'm guessing the fetal position makes me feel safer. I also had other weird things when I was sleeping. If an object was hanging above me and I think that's it unstable, I changed to the foot of the bed. I never let any part of my body (legs, arms, feet, toes) stick out of my blanket. It wasn't because I was cold I always believed sometime would grab me. I still fear that would happen. I NEVER let my arms hang off the bed. I'm still scared that something hides under my bed. I never look around when it's dark. I refuse to touch or look at the right side of the bed when I'm about to fall asleep. I fear that something will appear on that side. So, those are my sleeping/bed flaws. Do you think the left side of the bed is lucky? And you have anything (flaws, lucky things, whatever) that you do before or after bed?

The Miracle of Life

In Health class today, we were learning about the reproductive systems. This was my favorite unit by far, because before he teacher gave the answers I said in a low voice the answer, and then he would repeat it out loud. Like this:
Teacher: Now number 3 is...
Me: *very low voice that I couldn't hear myself* vas deferens.
Teacher: Number 3 is the vas deferens.
Me: *thinks* Score!
I knew both the male AND female reproductive systems. I did my research over the summer. I felt really proud that I knew that. Anyways, today we were going to watch a video. A BIRTHING video. The first part was really boring, explaining about the female's and male's reproductive system.
"This is the ovary. When an egg is released, it is known as ovulation. When sperm comes through and fertilizes the egg, the egg will then implant into the uterine wall." Blah blah blah. I get it.Everybody else was bored too. The teacher fast forwarded it to the best part. The birth. When the head slowly came out, most of the boys were screaming in agony or in disgust. The girls were disgusted, while me laughing so hard because of the guys' expressions. Some of them were just yelling how disgusting it was or they hid their faces in their jackets. On guy shouted during the video, "I came out of that?!" The teacher very sarcastically yet in a very amusing way to me said, "Yes." I responded, "I didn't come out of that. I came out here. *pointing to my abdomen*" My brother and I were both Cesarean babies. Years later, my mother's uterus was removed because she had a certain type of tumor on the uterus, and she isn't able to have any more babies. My mother was thrilled. She never wanted kids but she loves us dearly. (or does she?) I found out that I'm actually the second born. There was a girl before me but she was a stillborn. Saddening, I know. But, my mother says if she was alive today, my brother wouldn't be born. Anywho, back to the video, I was the only person laughing while everyone is in complete disgust and horror. While I was laughing, I described what was happening. "Look there's the head! Now the shoulders! The baby's out!" Best part, no one told me to shut up. The teacher said, "If you don't like seeing this now, I would not have intercourse yet." Best. Birth. Control. Ever. Just show a birthing video to the high school students, and I'm sure they don't want to see that, OR feel that if they were female. I told my best friend after school during Art Club, and she thought of having a baby of her own. I was like, "Are you sure? That's painful. You don't know how that head gets through. And the agonizing hours of labor too! I recommend you get an epidural if you have no tolerance for pain." I know I won't give birth. I'm adopting. For sure!

Lot of Bitchin' in High School

Ever since I first came to high school, every week there's at least 2-3 fights. I mean, it was about everything. Grades, publicity, girlfriend fights, who gets the boy, anything you could think of. Today, there was a fight..I'm sorry...it was barely a fight. I limped to lunch, and heard a girl scream. I turned around and saw teachers running and a crowd gathering. It was very short, because I heard running afterwards and the crowd started disappearing. Weak. Though, yesterday, I think, I heard there was some girls fighting. I don't know what it was about but I heard that one of the girls grabbed one girl and threw her down the stairs. The girl who went down the two flights of stairs, cracked her head open! I don't think it was serious. Maybe a scalp laceration. I also heard that the girl went down the stairs and just beat the crap out of the other girl. I swear there's more blood in this school than in a slaughter house. It was insane. I think the girls either got suspended or expelled. I bet the girl who was badly beaten up went to the ER. I heard it happened before 3rd hour, near the first stairs. I always go on those stairs, how come I wasn't able to see it? I always miss a good fight! The funny thing is the fights always happened at the first stairs when you walk through the entrance, in the cafeteria, at the porch area outside the cafeteria, or the gym. Anything big, there will always be fights. I need a new school, or this new school needs new students. Ah, fighting happens in the outside world too, so..hm. *shrugs*

Health Class Turned into Sick Class

So, we had some guest speakers come to our Health class, teaching us about the media, abuse, sex, pregnancy, STI's, and etc. We also had big tests coming up so the classes were cut short. Yesterday, we had a woman talk to us about the types of sex and STI's. *Warning: Sarcasm input coming.* It was so interesting to learn about oral sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, intercourse, and outercourse. Especially the pictures of the va jay jay, anus, and penis infested with those diseases. Best part is I had lunch afterwards. Mmm~ Genital Herpes, Gonorrhea, and Chlamydia. Yum.

Isn't Love Beautiful?

A few days ago, I saw a gay couple walk past me on the stairs, holding hands, interlocked. Their love is beautiful. They're both black, and they both look feminine. They wear pink sometimes, sometimes they wear jewelry. I just love gay guys. It's beautiful how love can be expressed in so many ways. I feel bad that not many people accept homosexuality, mostly because of religion. I'm religious, support homosexuality, and gay myself. My high school has no tolerance for bullying, and they support homosexuality. They have rainbow flags everywhere. I love my school. I see more lesbian couples here, than gay guys. I've only seen one gay couple, and seen a bunch of lesbian or bisexual couples. In the dictionary, "gay" means "happy." Just like in those Christmas songs where they use the word "gay." So if the word "gay" means "happy", then we should let the gay couples be happy. Being gay is happiness basically. Just my perception is all. But, I believe love can be in everything. Couples, grandparents, gays, siblings, parents, cousins, family, friends, pets, and so much more. I just love LOVE! <3 <-- heart

Was that suppose to be a compliment?

One day in my Civics class, I had to do a Powerpoint for this Pro's and Con's thing. Now, I chose Obesity, and went up first on the first day. I mentioned that I come from an overweight family (which is true), and I admitted that I was a bit overweight. I didn't look too much like it, I mean I'm at risk of being overweight. I've got the pounds to prove it. After my presentation, these girls at my table were like, "You're not overweight." After that was said, a black kid from behind me said, "Yeah. You aren't overweight; you're just big." My reaction was an awkward "thanks." I told this to my mother and she said that maybe he said it because I had big hips. Weird thing is my mother keeps calling me fat, and she tells me not to lose weight because I have big hips, and hat big hips don't look good on skinny women. What kind of advice is that, Mom? You call me fat and tell me to lose weight, and then tell me not to lose weight because of my big hips. Confusing advertisement.

Cultures! Me love some cultures!

I've experienced some cultures besides mine. Instead of my Hispanic heritage, I learned much more. Such as, German, Irish, Filipino, Indonesian, Hawaiian, Korean, Japanese, Native American, African (really. I mean a real African, she goes to my school with her colorful clothing. It's so pretty!), Dutch, Mexican, Spanish, Cuban, Chinese, Honduran, El Salvadoran, Jewish, Indian (Mostly Hindus), Saudi Arabian, Iraqian, Afghani, French, Austrian (Not Australian, I mean Austria), and Czech Republic. I've experienced a lot of cultures throughout my life. For the first years of my life, basically elementary, I've lived in Germany for most of my life. And I've met a lot of Germans, Dutch, and then a lot of Hispanics. And once I moved to the United States, I met more Hispanics, then the Filipinos, the Asians, and then when I got to high school, I met the Hindus, Middle Easterns, a Native American, Irish, and the Africans. My goodness, I felt like I took a tour of the whole Earth. I love these cultures! Although, all my friends are either Hispanic, Asian, Black, American, or European. Either one of those. But, I mostly have Hispanic and Asian friends. My best friend from 5th grade is half German and half Czech Republic. Although, we stopped being friends after this one little incident happened. I still talk to her to this day, but we're not best friends.

My favorite cultures will have to be Asian (like Japanese, Korean Chinese, Filipino), Hispanic, Native American, Dutch, Indian, Jewish, Saudi Arabian, and Africans. I've really gotten into the Middle East and Asia. I've studied a lot about India and Saudi Arabia, and I've studied a lot about Japan, the Philippines, Korea, and some Indonesia. I just love these cultures because they're very exotic to me. I'm also VERY into Native Americans. I remember when I was in elementary, I would always make dream catchers, and drew Native Americans. In 5th grade, we had to do a report on the....Aztecs, Mayans, or the Incas. I think I did the Incas. Those were like the Hispanic Natives I think. And I found out that maize was "corn" in Spanish, and my brother calls me something similar to that. He calls me, "Mai" (pronounced My-E) Sounds like maize   only without the "z." Native Americans were actually my first culture to love, and I still love them to this very day. My Hispanic heritage came later when I asked my mother many questions about Puerto Rico. So yeah. So many cultures, but so little to learn about. I don't have enough free time. And if I did, I get at least a few minutes before I have to fall asleep for school. I look for some free time during lunch, but we can't use our laptops in the lunch area, we have to go to the designated area. I really don't want to move and end up forgetting about it later. Please tell me your guys' culture! I want to know!

Tension Headaches SUCK.

I suffer from horrible nausea. My doctor said that it's acid reflex. Alright then. I want to talk about tension headaches/migraines. I have a headache right now, and it feels like a belt is strapped tightly around my head. That's what it feels like. And it's throbbing. I've always asked myself: What pain/bother would I rather have? Headache? Stomachache? Nausea? Joint Pain? Burning Pain from IcyHot? All of the above? Well, all of them bother me, but I'd rather have a stomachache than a headache. Whenever I get headaches, they trigger my nausea, and I force myself to sleep. No matter how early, I need to sleep. It's the only way to get rid of my headache. I know you can take pills, but I refuse to take pills, since I have a problem swallowing. I don't know whether to get that checked out. Stomachaches just cause pain to me, and minimal nausea. I get headaches a lot and it's because of me sitting at my computer a lot. Plus, I use my school computer, so it's highly likely I'll get a headache. I asked my mother if migraines run in the family and she said no. I wanted to make sure, because I'm always getting lightheaded and it gets blurry, and then I get a headache. So, I don't know. Also, that tension headaches SUCK!

Wonder What They're Going To Do....

I think this was in September. My friends and I were all eating lunch, when we saw a couple pass by behind my Irish friend. She heard this:
Girl: So you'll come over to my house after school?
Boy: You got it babe. Can't wait. This is going to be fun.
I see them both kiss and then walk off. We all looked at each other, and my Irish friend was like," Did you hear that?! Holy s**t! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I shook my head and said," Maybe it's not what you think. Maybe they're going to.....do homework after school, or-or....play a game." My friend scoffed and said, "Yea right! They're going to do it after school. Goodness, you're so innocent." I slid into my chair. The couple didn't even look old enough. They looked like the Freshmen...or maybe they're Sophomores. I don't know, but we were wondering what they meant by meeting up after school to have some "fun."

My Grumpy Yet Sympathetic Father

For today, I'm going to be talking about my father. My dad is a stern, grumpy man. He's almost 6 feet tall, little overweight, and is currently suffering from high cholesterol. Well, that's what he gets for eating all this crap he ain't suppose to be eating. My dad mostly grew up in America but is from a PR family. He was born there, and grew up in America for a bit then back to PR. He was a geek in his school, hanging with his only buddy, Charlie. My dad grew up in an abusive family. Both parents were strict, and had no tolerance for foolishness. He has 2 sisters, and a brother. (All I know is that he is not the oldest.) My dad loved working with mechanics, like cars and computers and whatnot. He worked in a gas station with his father when he was in high school. He was dating this girl, when he saw my mother. Now, they were both out of high school, and my mom was getting gas for her car. My dad fell in love, but my mom didn't have the same feelings for him. My dad broke up with his girlfriend and chased after my mom. They finally became a couple, and had a few fights. My dad would always get pissed and once almost hit my mother. My mother ended up hitting him and he would drive around the island, coming back, saying that he was wrong and that he was sorry. This would usually happen almost every week. They get into a fight, he drives off, and comes back feeling sorry. He finally took my mother's hand in marriage, and lived in the house built on top of my maternal grandmother's house. It was like an attic since it was on top but it was like a house. Although, very small. Years later, I was born, and my dad joined the army. When I was a few months old, we moved to America. My mom wanted a better life for me. (Truth is, I don't like PR. Where we live, it's kind of ghetto. And my mom knows it. Both of my parents say they're proud that they're ghetto. LOL) Years later, my brother was born. We were both outrageous kids, and since my dad grew up in an abusive family, he didn't have a tolerance for us. He used to hit us, but not necessarily abuse us. My mother was very patient, and didn't want my dad hitting us. She told him that if he ever hit us, they would get a divorce. My dad loved my mother dearly, and hasn't hit us since. My brother was diagnosed with autism, and that's when my dad went insane. He thought that since he was autistic, nothing would go right, and the whole world would collapse. He wasn't very confident about him, and didn't have much patience for him, and still doesn't today. Neither do I. I'm like......the Mini Me Grumpy...Grumpy Jr.....Grumpy clone of my father. Whatever. Now my dad doesn't hit us, but when he's pissed he yells. And I mean, he YELLS. I remember is something that he's trying to fix isn't working with him, he would break it! When we lived in our old house, we had those phones for our house, and my dad was trying to fix it. I was upstairs and my family was downstairs. My dad got pissed and just threw the phone to the ground, making it break into pieces. My brother was extremely scared and ran out, thinking it was his fault. He always thinks it's his fault. I came down later and saw the phone pieces. Now, I'm a good girl, because I do not want to face my father when he's pissed. His strong face, his Adam's Apple bulging, his heavy breathing, his fists tightened, I'm terrified, and hate to see him mad. Even if he's not mad, he's still has that strong face. When it was my 2nd year of middle school, we were having a celebration for Spring Break or something, and my dad came to pick me up. My best friend saw him, and she texted me saying, "Oh my goodness. Your dad is scary. He looks strict. :( <--Sad face" Trust me he is. I don't invite friends anymore now, because I'm afraid of him and his rules. I usually wait until he goes to the field or something for like a week, and I invite my friends over. I invited my best friend during the summer, when my dad was still in Afghanistan. Although, my dad is a grumpy, strict man, he's actually very sympathetic. Just today, I had to watch my brother, and I went to my room when I heard my brother screaming. His computer was messed up and his games kept on glitching, so he's crying out. But, I couldn't help but giggle. I felt bad though. It sounded like he was getting murdered! My parents came back and saw him using my dad's computer. My dad was really sympathetic and offered to make him something. I also remember when I was doing this project for my Civics class and my school laptop just froze and erased everything! He saw me crying and just screaming, "No! NO!" Of course, he couldn't get the data back and I had to start all over. He tried his best and told me to use my thumb drive so it wouldn't happen again. My dad is also very sweet with my mom. I remember their wedding anniversary  My dad was in Iraq or something and he sent flowers and other stuff to her days after their wedding anniversary. He didn't forget it just takes a while for a package to get here. I saw roses, and candies in there. I thought that was sweet. The only thing they fight about--I mean argue about, is when my mother tries to clean and another mess is made, or when my dad tries to fix something and he can't and my mom tries to tell him to stop, when he wants to try to fix it. So, sometimes they would argue about little things, but they love each other very much. I love my dad very much, however, he can be very annoying. Sorry, I had to say that. He's annoying. When I try to ask him a simple question about mechanics, since he works as a computer technician in the Army, he would start with when the technology was first invented and I would never get my answer. So, I just try to look on the internet, because it doesn't tell me long stories. I'm sorry, but  want the answer not when man started to inhabit the Earth. Lastly, my dad always tells me that I was the inspiration to join the Army, and that I wouldn't have the life I have if I weren't born. I love my dad. <3 (heart) He's a gentle giant. Or should I say grumpy giant? Hmm. Oh well. Grumpy, yet sympathetic.

Do You Know What I Hate: Boobs (Specifically)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! For today's post, I'd like to complain, because nothing funny or bad happened this Thanksgiving. Except my dad's boss come with his wife and new baby. They were Korean and their baby boy was FREAKIN adorable! He was 6 weeks old, and I couldn't help but stroke his little head.
Anyways, I'd like to complain about boobs. And by boobs I mean big boobs. I hate people with boobs bigger than me, since I'm a freakin A cup.(Although, I exaggerate and say it's -Z) Most of my friends have bigger boobs than me and most of them are younger than me. Like, in middle school. Back in 7th grade, I had a friend that was a year younger than me and her boobs were like a double D. But, she was black......I'm not trying to be racist. I think it's stereotypical? Sorry. Anyways, the only weird thing is, if you go onto my DA and look through my gallery, I have some female characters with big boobs. It's weird how I dislike girls with bigger boobs than me and yet I draw my characters with bigger boobs. Huh. The only ones with flat chests are my younger girls, because....you know what I mean. My parents still don't know that I'm gay but I think my mother is slowing trying to see hints. I obsess a lot about boobs and my mother is questioning me saying," Are you gay or something?" and I lie saying that I ain't. So, she's halfway there of figuring out if I'm gay. Also, small boobs in my family are apparently like hereditary. Every woman in my family has small boobs. Ugh. Although, there are some good sides of having small boobs. I won't have back pain and they won't........hang when I get older. I still hate having small boobs though. I just want them a little bigger. Like at least a B cup will work.

How To Make A Person with OCD Laugh

In the summer of 2011, it was about....July, and my mother had to go to a high school reunion in PR. She was in the kitchen with her laptop looking for airplane tickets to get to PR. I was in the kitchen getting a snack when I overheard this:
Mom: What?! That's insane!
Me: What is?
Mom: I'm looking for tickets and on my second flight it says I have to wait 11 hours! (clicks through other flights) What can I do in 11 hours?!
Me: Clean the airport?
Mom: *starts laugh hysterically* I know right?
Me: *giggling a bit from my own joke and my mother laughing*
Well, she cleans the house, if she can clean when she's bored, then waiting for the next flight for 11 hours, she can clean the airport! Of course, she chose another flight. Too bad.

Am I Really that Innocent?

My parents and my friends say that I'm innocent. Innocent how? They say I'm innocent, SEXUALLY. MY mom talks about it with me and my father just feels uncomfortable talking about it. So, it's not my fault I come from a Catholic family. I started learning about it from middle school in the.........7th grade. My first hour was Art class, and we had assigned seats. I was the only girl at my table. There were 3 boys and they were all friends. I felt really awkward around them. I always felt awkward around boys but really comfortable with girls. I didn't learn that I was gay till years later. So late, I know. Didn't realize till the summer. Anywho, the boys then got me into their "weird" conversation. They would give me trivia questions almost. All of their conversations were either about their girlfriends, how their mothers hated them, or sexual phrases. My very first sexual phrase I learned was.........boner. Me being naive and honest I didn't know what that meant and they laughed at me. That very same day they even told me about "drop the soap." I started looking up these stuff at home, and I learned how wrong it was. Since I was naive and wanted to fit in a bit, I learned some other stuff. Boy, was I stupid. Around 8th grade, I met my Batman friend. (She's obsessed with the Joker and Batman.) She was my inappropriate friend and taught both my best friend and I things that we were suppose to learn in Health class. I felt so ashamed when I didn't know what was what, and felt so out of it. But, they were learning to early, and I wanted to wait. By the time high school rolled around, I was just an outcast. I saw couples everywhere, and many of my friends started using this sexual slang and I asked like an idiot what they were, and they said that my brain was not mature to soak up this stuff. It was so unfair, and I didn't bother speaking to anyone, since it was mostly about sex. I try talking about the slang that they use to fit in and it still makes me uncomfortable. Now, I'm known as the "Quiet Girl" in the school. I bother talking to anyone since it'll just be about sex or relationships. *sigh*

Sonic Fanatic

Now, before I became interested in medicine, I was a big art nerd, and Sonic geek. I still do. I started drawing when I was about 4 when I started drawing. The drawing trait is from my mother's side and just kept drawing stuff I saw. Mostly I drew houses and rainbows. I started getting into Sonic when I was about 6. I saw the second episode of Sonic X and fell in love. I was a child and absolutely loved the style and started drawing the Sonic characters I saw in the anime. I started creating my own Sonic characters when I was about to go into 5th grade. I started creating more characters as I went into my middle school years, and have about to over 100 characters. I joined DeviantArt after I saw the beautiful artwork. During the first couple of months on DA, I met "Ninja." She introduced me to the Sonic comic and I found Horatio Quentin Quack. A doctor character. So, I was about in middle school when I became addicted to doctors and wanting to be one instead of being an artist or cartoonist. I'm still into the Sonic fandom, and it's become overly popular. I collect the Sonic collectibles  comics, action figures, and the plushies. I got the Knuckles plushie today. It looks something like this:

I also have a Sonic, Shadow, Amy, and Cream plush. As for action figures, I have Vector and Espio. (They came in a box together with a comic) I also have Sonic and the little alien dudes from Sonic Colors. I even have the Sonic Werehog. So adorable. Then I have this Sonic Kart with a remote control. Oh! Almost forgot. I also have Big the Cat and Froggy action figures. I'm not going to mention the comics because I don't remember and I don't want to go look for the names of each and everyone of them. But, yeah, although I'm not the only Sonic geek in my high school. My guy friend, Otaku, (that's his nickname. He calls me "Sonikku" when he passes by me) is more of an anime freak. One of his fandoms is Sonic. I remember having a Sonic backpack and he tried to steal it from me. Whenever I get Sonic merchandise, he would try to steal it. I have a Sonic key chain that makes a noise when you press on his abdomen. HE has at least 5 different sounds, and most of my non-Sonic friends play with him. Except for my best friend, she's a Sonic freak since she saw me drawing Sonic in middle school. It doesn't bother me as much as back then. She used to copy most of my work, now it doesn't bother me. If you go to my DA, you'll see mostly Sonic artwork of my characters. Sorry. But, for you guys, it's cartoons. Good night!

My Bipolar Bunny

I'm obsessed with bunnies. My first bunny was a French Lop. Her name was Dottie, I found the name in a book in my elementary school. She was white with black spots. She had brown eyes, black ears, and both her eyes had the black markings around them. She was a big bunny, and I usually cradled her in my arms. I was very young so I didn't learn how to take care of a bunny well. Whenever we cleaned her cage, she would run into the laundry room, since her cage was in the basement and the laundry room was the door on the right of her cage. She ended dying while I was at choir rehearsal in I think in 4th grade. When I came home, my mother had an upset look on her face. She said that Dottie died and I said that she was lying. I went to the basement and found that the cage was gone. My dad found a place to bury her somewhere in Germany where we used to live. Now, I have another bunny. She is a Lionhead and we named her after the character from Big Bang Theory. We named her Penny. At first, Penny was very shy and didn't run around much. After a while, she's been very comfortable. But, she's a really bitchy bunny now. She's like bipolar. In the mornings, she would twitch and jump around. She would be so happy. And then for the rest of the day, she would be a demon. Biting, scratching, and sometimes she would spray urine. She would be really pissed off. But, she is straight adorable! There are sometimes where I see her sleeping and you can't help but say "Awwww!" And then she becomes a real bitch and you're like" I hate her~!" But, she is very entertaining and some of the time, very sweet. If you stuck your hand out, she would lick the knuckles or fingers. Yuck, but still cute. I remember we took her to get her claws trimmed and people just went gaga for her. The nurses and the owner's of the patients just went crazy, just cooing and wanting to pet her. Too bad I was at school when that happened. My mother told me what happened. The only bad thing was that she was traumatized and she ended up limping. I was thinking that they clipped too far. She was fine after that, and she's back to being my bipolar bunny.

Be Safe

While we were driving to and from a restaurant, there were at least 4 crashes. About 4. There was a small car crash, no big deal. Then there was this one with a car rear ending a truck. It was harmful to the small car than the truck, since it had more damage. The 3rd one was 2 crashes at the same time. The first one was like the second crash. The second crash was 3 in a row. All rear ended. It somehow looked like Human Centipede. You know what I' talking about if you watched it. (I never watched it, but I saw the trailer a few times.) The last one was horrific. Both cars were in pieces, I didn't even see the people. All I saw was shattered pieces of glass, and the two smashed cars. They were in horrible shape and we continued to drive, when I saw the firetruck and ambulance pass by. It was that bad. The really ironic thing was in Health class I was watching a documentary and bits of real stories on DRUNK DRIVING. I'm sure the people weren't drunk but there were car crashes. Crazy people and their speeding. Well, have a safe Thanksgiving week. Good night.

Guess What I Learned About Today~

During Health class, we had some visitors. Apparently, it was an ex-Meth addict. She was going to tell about her experience, and teach us about the drug, Meth.  I learned that Meth comes in many forms and that they're now making flavored Meth for kids. The age rate lowered to kids started Meth at age 9. Preposterous, huh?! From teens to little kids? In Colorado?! There are so many Meth labs in Mexico and California as I heard, and that there are many signs of a Meth lab. I don't remember them. Sorry, bad memory. There are also many nicknames for Meth and symptoms. The symptoms I remember are that it can cause hallucinations, picking at the skin, meth mouth, sleep deprivation, brain damage, umm.... I don't remember what else. I wish I could, but I can't. The ex-Meth addict told us about her experience last. She explained how she started at 14, did other drugs such as smoking pot, moved out of her home when she was 16, became hooked onto Meth and started to steal or make deals, lived with her fiance and he ended up dying of cardiac arrest since he was a Meth addict also, umm... she ended quitting Meth since she went to a mental hospital and ended up joining the Colorado Meth Program. It has been 7 years since she's been off Meth and is doing better. She has a few appointments for the damage that the Meth has done to her. She goes to classes, and has scheduled an appointment for an MRI tomorrow. Her sister was also there, telling us the experience she went when her sister was on drugs. She didn't know she was on Meth, all she knew was that she was on other drugs. For the rest of the time, we asked a bunch of these questions. There were some awkward silences and then the teacher was like, "Would you like a writing assignment?" and we just asked random questions like her favorite color. She ended up giving us these cool wristbands. They are black and it says, "Not Even Once" on it. I know I'll never do drugs or alcohol. Both my parents don't drink or do drugs. My dad smoked a cigarette once and stopped when he met my mom. Also, on my mother's side of the family, her brothers smoke and drink. Whenever I stepped foot in that house, it reeked of smoke. Ick. But, I've learned a lot and the ex-Meth Addict has a family. She has a husband and 2 kids. A 4 year old and a 3 month old. Adorable.

I Thought I Was Having A Bad Day

I did a stupid thing in school, and I didn't realize till now. The teacher gave my group another chance to erase the thing and turn it in for an A. When I came home, did my homework, and went downstairs for my free time, my dad came home from work. I went upstairs to greet him and eat dinner at the same time, till he told me the news. He had high cholesterol...again. I was frightening, because when I saw the recommendation of how low his levels should be and how high his was, it scared me. He was at risk of getting a heart attack. He had many of these pan flips, and things that his physician recommended. I wrote all of it down, and started researching. He also got this DVD about Dyslipidemia. I learned so much about lipids/cholesterol in Biology and now I'm learning on my own about abnormal lipid levels. Well, I already learned about that in Biology too. But, now I'm watching my dad's diet carefully starting tomorrow. Good luck!

I Guess I Can Call Myself A "Clean Freak"

Ever since I was just a little girl, my mother would always clean the house. Even after she finished cleaning, she would re-clean whatever she cleaned. She hated dust. Years later, she was diagnosed with OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. She knew that she was obsessed but it didn't bother her. She liked to clean, and she hated the mess. She watches "Hoarders" which makes her want to clean even more because of the mess in someone else's house. When people walk in, they don't even want to move from their spots because it was so clean and they were afraid that they would mess it up. Our smoke alarms went off one day, and my parents called the Fire Department. When the firemen reached the house, and went in, they took their boots off. They said to my mother that they've never seen a house so clean, and that they had to step over stuff in order to get inside the house. Now, I'm very much like my mother. Humorous, happy (most of the time grumpy but I get that from my dad), and I looked like her. I literally had her face. But, I feel like I may be a clean freak like her. I had all my stuff organized, and whenever I drew my picture, the eraser shavings drove me crazy. I peeled it off my eraser and wiped it off the table. I hated seeing them. Also, when someone finishes erasing, they continue writing without wiping the shavings off. It drove me nuts. I grew up drawing and when you draw or paint, you get messy. I couldn't draw without getting dirty. I hated the black smudges made on my paper or on my hand. I had to wash my hands constantly. I remember choosing my art classes for middle school. When I walked into the classroom, the tables were covered in years of dry paint and clay, the walls had dry clay on them, the chairs were covered with colored pencil markings, and mysterious markings. I refused to sit in a chair. I hovered in the air, instead of setting my behind in that chair. The middle school I went to was very unsanitary. The custodians were very lazy and complained when they had to do their jobs. I remember passing by their office and hearing them talk about us, kids. They absolutely hated us. They would just smoke while talking about the people in our school. Our school ended up being on the news for being the most unsanitary. I mean, I don't blame them. In 8th grade, I had B lunch and they never clean it properly. To wipe the tables, they used their MOPS. THEIR MOPS! What they use to wipe floors in bathrooms, to clean up vomit, to clean up piss, ugh! I had a bunch of napkins so my food wouldn't touch those disgusting tables. I was so glad to leave middle school and move to high school. This high school is VERY sanitary. They clean it everyday. The custodians get up early in order to get ready for the day, clean before lunch, clean after lunch, before lunch again, after lunch again, and then at the end of the day. You couldn't eat off the floor, but it was clean to me. More sanitary than middle school. Also, I picked to be in Drawing class, and when I saw the tables covered in drawings, pencil marks, marker marks, dry paint, I nearly lost it. This kid used to sit at my table and we had to smudge our pictures that day, and he made the biggest mess. I stopped in the middle of my drawing and cleaned the entire table. My friend started to get annoyed, because of my cleaning. They had to hide their mess, so I wouldn't see it and clean it up. I would usually sneak over and eraser the pencil drawings on the table. I actually used a bit of hand sanitizer and SOAP on the table. We would always wipe down our tables at the end of class, and I would literally use soap and wipe it with water. The old marks from over the years bothered me, but somehow it was disappearing. I guess I would call myself a "clean freak," but that's because of the influence of my mother. Back in middle school, I got sick many times. My mother blamed herself because the house was clean and the school wasn't. I'm sure I don't have OCD, but I need to clean up and stuff. Whenever my brother made a mess, I cleaned it up. If he vomited, he was on his own.

I Don't Think You Understand the Meaning of the Word "Gay"

This was a conversation I was having with my little brother a few months ago. I said the word "gay" and he asked what it meant. I couldn't explain it to him so we slid the word off the table. We then started to talk about if he would ever get a girlfriend. He's in middle school and many of friends had lovers already during that time. But, I talked about if he would get one. My dad walked in and I asked him if Lil' Bro would get a girlfriend. My dad said that he would get one because he's very sweet, funny, and many people find him cute. I then said, "Do you think you'll get a girlfriend." His respond was, "No! I'm not gay!" I started laughing. Whenever he hears a new word, he uses it in a wrong way. Ultra fail! Haha! I love my lil' bro.

I Just Had to Tell You This

So, as I'm on DeviantArt, just drawing a practice comic and stuff, a message appears in my inbox. I went to check it out, and it was a journal. I decided to peek at it, and apparently a friend was showing support to her friend whose father hung himself. I was in total shock. I went o the girl's page and it showed of how strong their relationship was and she didn't know why he hung himself. She said that she was hoping he's be there for her wedding in the future, since her mother was never in the picture, the girl and her family was pretty traumatized from this unsuspecting death. She explained that he was a strong and healthy individual, and she didn't know why he would do this. I felt sympathetic for her. It's hard losing a loved one or a close friend to suicide. I know, because my best friend almost committed suicide. I know what losing someone is, because a lot of my relatives and parent's friends have died from illness, or suicide. I remember that my favorite 6th grade Science teacher died from a brain tumor. She claimed about suffering from severe headaches, but her physician said nothing. He bothered to check her. She died when I was in 7th grade; everyone was devastated. The teachers and students. The day that she died, the principal already started looking for a new Science teacher, while everyone is crying their hearts out. The principal was very sexist when he got a new science teacher that was a female and he fired her, because he wanted a male. How sexist! The day before she died, the school called everyone to tell them that the teacher wasn't going to make it. They said that the brain tumor had already spread around her brain, so there was no point in saving her. I cried so bad that day, but on the school day, while everyone was crying, I stayed silent. I did feel bad, but I've cried so excessively, I tried to hold back the tears. I ended up opening the dam doors and the water flowed when I left school. It took a while for everyone to settle down after her death. Everyone that I knew has died of an illness, such as tumors and suicide. That's what inspired me to become a doctor in the future. I just hate see close people die. Or even if they're on DA. It's difficult.

I really dislike Biology

My Biology teacher is giving me a hard time. I got a horrible grade on my Photosynthesis quiz, and when we do quizzes on Quia.com, she expects us to keep redoing it until we get a 100%, and if you don't, she gives you a zero. And on tests, if we get lower than 70%, you have to do test corrections. Luckily, I didn't have to do them. I was in the 80% range of test, and 80% range on quizzes. I am truly upset, because I don't care about this stuff. They don't interest me. Photosynthesis, Cellular Respiration, ATP, ADP+P, NADPH, NADP+, Ecology, Producers, Consumers, Autotrophs, Heterotrophs, etc. I really don't care. I don't even bother to listen, and I have a C in that class. IT used to be a B and then it went down to a C just because I didn't redo the stupid quiz and get a 100% and she gives me a zero. Most of my classmates and friends don't really mind; I do! I try so hard, but I end up failing. Why can't I get at least an A, and I try so hard?! I tried my best on that dumb Photosynthesis test, and I get a D?! Seriously?! Ugh. Life sucks in Biology. I never liked Science, and Science is important for becoming a physician, when I absolutely hate that class! It pisses me off, when I try so HARD, and end up getting a bad grade for a tiny mistake. *sigh* I wait till the weekend starts. I'm stressing over my 2 C's, one B, and 4 A's. I used to have 5 A's, and 2 B's. But, because of one little mistake, I get a C. UGH! I just want to cry, which I'm already doing, because I try so DAMN hard! Why can't you change my grade, damnit?! MY teacher always says "Well, you got to try harder." I'm doing all that I can, because I got other homework to do in other class. 7 classes total! I need a break......

I love Health!

I love Health class so far!! We watched a "Childhood Obesity" documentary. It was about a senior in high school; her name is Ashley, and is trying to help people who are struggling from obesity. On our worksheet that we worked on, one of the questions was "What is diabetes?" Bam! I knew the answer right away! And there was more info on it in our school books. I couldn't help but read the conditions, like the cardiovascular diseases, and asthma (which I have), diabetes, angina, hypertension, etc. Oh my goodness, I couldn't contain myself. During the documentary, I kept reading the chapters. The teacher didn't even bother that I was reading. Anything about certain diseases, conditions, machinery, ER, departments, whatever that connects to health/medicine, I will so get excited! Like when I watch "Mystery Diagnosis","Untold Stories of the ER", "Bizarre ER", and documentaries of any kind. It really excites me and I can't contain myself to do research. I don't want to know about sex, or teen pregnancy, because I already know. Stay abstinent, bla, teen moms, bla. It's just pregnancy in someone young. I don't care. I understand that the percentage has risen, but it's boring. I like studying diseases, and cancers. Mostly cancer and anything consisting of neurology, because of my family.

Paint the World

I'm a bit nauseated right now. This is to show what happens if I don't take my medicine. I have to take my meds in order to control my acid reflex and nausea. I'll start tomorrow. Anyways, I had to sing a song in Literature today with my band. This song is basically about living in a gray world, with teen suicide, child abuse, death, etc. and we're trying to paint the world and make it colorful. People really liked the song and they said it was really catchy and ended up getting it stuck in their heads. I'm not going to do a video to show you the song, I'll just show you the poem. I hope you like it.

Paint the World


Everyday
I see gray
Every night
I see black
Every morning
I see white
It's all a gray scale

Everyday someone leaves;
the world draws dark.
Every hour, a mark appears, and no one remarks.
Every second, a tear falls, and the gunshot ends their day.
I grabbed my paintbrush, and prayed.

Paint the world; make it bright.
The Earth will twirl and we'll climb the heights.
Save the people, help the race.
Paint the world and we'll all say 'grace.'
Drop that knife; drop that gun, you don't need advice from anyone.
Grab your brush, and a piece of paper.
Paint your world; your picture is done.

People look away, when I pass by.
They started blasting their slants, but I turn the blind eye.
Once I got back home, I grabbed the knife.
Steel to flesh, eye to eye.
My blood was rushing, and my hands were sweating.
But, I dropped the knife and grabbed the paintbrush.

Paint the world; make it bright.
The Earth will twirl and we'll climb the heights.
Save the people, help the race.
Paint the world and we'll all say 'grace.'
Drop that knife; drop that gun, you don't need advice from anyone.
Grab your brush, and a piece of paper.
Paint your world; your picture is done.

Tell me what is there living in a world so gray.
Tell me what is there for feeling so alone.
There are no more colors and I feel sad everyday.
I just want to paint my feelings and show the world today.

I finally see the colors; the flowers start to bloom.
Everything around me starts to take up color too.
At last he heard my prayer, and I look up to the sky.
Thank you God, with all my heart, my soul has been colorified.

Paint the world; make it bright.
The Earth will twirl and we'll climb the heights.
Save the people, help the race.
Paint the world and we'll all say 'grace.'
Drop that knife; drop that gun, you don't need advice from anyone.
Grab your brush, and a piece of paper.
Paint your world; your picture is done.

Paint your world; make it bright.
The Earth is yours, so you'll climb the heights.
Help yourself, and help the day.
Paint your world; it's finally your way!

What Candies I Dislike

Ever since Halloween has past, I wanted to talk about the candies that I hate-- I mean, dislike. (The candies that I dislike are not in order of what I dislike the most.)

1. Tootsie Rolls. I never liked tootsie rolls. They're very hard to chew for me, and I really don't like the flavor. Even if it is chocolate. Even thinking about tootsie rolls make me nauseous. I only like the vanilla flavored ones. My parents and my lil' brother all like tootsie rolls. So, when we went trick-or-treating, most of the candy that was in my brother's basket were tootsie rolls. Ugh.

2. Smarties. I used to like Smarties, but now I've gotten really sick of them. They're.....too soft. Once I put them in my mouth, they like dissolve in my mouth, and it really nauseates me. I like candies that are a little harder, like Sweetarts. I love Sweetarts! During my Drawing Class, my demon friend gave me Smarties because she had too many and wanted to give them away. I really didn't want it, but I didn't want to make her upset. I decided to eat the roll. But, she dared me to put all of them in my mouth. I took the challenge but ended up spitting them back up into the trash can nearby.

3. Gobstoppers. They're WAY too sweet for me, and really hard. Aren't Gobstoppers like jawbreakers? The didn't know that at first, and when I put one in my mouth, I ended up hurting my jaw. Ow. There were also Gobstoppers in the basket. No one in my family likes it.

4. Now and Later. The first time I tried those were back in 5th grade. I didn't pay attention to the wrapper. I only payed attention to the flavor. I unwrapped it and threw it in. I ended up cutting my gum. I wasn't allowed to go to the nurse because we were watching a movie, and my teacher didn't think it was too serious. I had to use the Kleenex in the room, and the little bits of the tissue were stuck to my gums. Blah.

5. Life Savers. Are they hard? Are they chewy? I don't understand this candy. I just don't. There's this one little packet of those, sitting in the candy basket. No one has touched it.

6. York. The Chocolate Covered Peppermint Patty. I like chocolate and I like mint, but please don't mix these two up. They're just not a good combination in my opinion. I tried it yesterday, and it did not please my tastebuds. I spit it out after one tiny bite, and just nibbled the chocolate covering the mint around it. I threw away the mint afterwards.

7. Necco Wafers. What the hell is that? They're like Smarties, only bigger and more horrible in taste. They look like those disks that were used in Ancient Rome, with powder on it!

8. Spongebob Krabby Patty Candy. I never expected something so cute and delicious on the show to be....still cute, but atrocious in taste. My brother loves these,but I never really liked them. Whenever I would get them, I would save them and give them to my brother. He would usually play with it first and pretend he's Spongebob, and then eat them. And me, I would be Squidward and leave the room.

9. Dum Dum Lolli's. I used to eat them a lot when I was younger, but now I've gotten tired of them, and gave up completely. I mean, I love lollipops, they're actually my favorite types of candies, more than chocolate, but the Dum Dum's make me sick now. We have the lollipops in the candy basket still. My brother likes Dum Dum's, although, he didn't want them this time. My favorite lollipops are the TigerPops. I LOVE the flavors!
Don't start yelling if you like these candies. It's just my opinion and I just don't like 'em. Sorry. I can say my opinion and so can you.

Fun Dentist Appointment

This happened back in the summer of I think of June of July this year. After my teeth got cleaned, they noticed very microscopic cavities starting to form. It was in between my teeth and they wanted me to floss. I admit that I don't floss that much but now I do. Any who  the dentist started to ask me some questions and here's a conversation that I never forgot:
Dentist: Do you drink soda?
Me: Yes.
Dentist: How often?
Me: Whenever I need it.
*Dentist, Nurse, and my mother all started laughing hysterically. I started to laugh because they laughed.*
I was actually trying to say that I drank soda when  my stomach started to hurt. He misunderstood. Though, I left a smile on their faces when I left the office. :)

Happy Late Halloween, Everyone.

Good evening, people. Right now, I'm am awfully tired, because I only got 4 1/2 hours of sleep last night. Why? It's not because of the trick-or-treating, and candy stuffing, in fact, the family was too tired to sort out the candy and eat at least a piece. They decided to go straight to bed. But, not me. Why? Because I had homework to do. I told myself that this year I wouldn't procrastinate, and do my work no matter how long it was. Well, I done my work, but I started slacking a bit and did my work at the last minute. My poetry report was due today and we had weeks to do it. I only had yesterday to do it, because I slacked off. We didn't get home from trick-or-treating till 8. My brother went to bed so did my parents. Where was I? I was at the table in the dining room, doing my homework. My father went to turn off the light that was on in the dining room, and found me, at 11 STILL doing homework. I wasn't finished, but my body couldn't take it and I stopped at midnight and went to go take a shower. All of a sudden, uh-oh, nausea. Ugh! You have got to be kidding me?! I decided to ignore it and tried to sleep it off. I layed on my left side on the left side of the bed. I always lay on my left side, but my bed is always moved and I sleep on whatever side or just in the middle. The nausea was unbearable and wouldn't let me sleep. I ended up waking up at 4 in the morning with horrible stomach cramps and severe nausea. I immediately got the Pepto Bismol, and grabbed my Spearmint gum afterwards. Still wouldn't go away, and I couldn't move an inch without getting that heavy nausea feeling. I tried to lay down, but the nausea still was there. I felt like I was going to vomit, of course, I was scared because I had emetophobia. My dad always wakes up at 4 to get ready for work. I went upstairs and found him. He asked why I was up this early, I had to explain to him about the severe cramping and nausea. He told me to go lay down with mom. I couldn't lay down. I ended up bringing my school laptop upstairs and reading the student handbook. The bright light woke my mother up and she woke up about a few minutes before 5 started rolling in. I stayed up for about 3 hours, and when 6:30 came in, my nausea simmered down, and I was able to lay down. I was able to get 30 minutes of sleep, because I had to wake up at 7 and still had to go to school. I was absent 4 days (or 6, but that's an exempt) and they called my parents saying if I were absent again I would get expelled. In the student handbook, it mentioned that any UNEXCUSED absences would contact your parents and tell them what happened. All my absences were EXCUSED. And they called yesterday saying I was absent. I was there ALL day!! It really pissed me off, and I ended up going to the Attendance and telling them that I was present. They gave me a sheet of paper for the teacher to sign off that I was present. That made me feel a little bit better. I also have only 1 tardy. It's unexcused, but I explained to the teacher that I found a laptop and I went to the Counseling for Lost and Found. She marked me as unexcused. Maybe it was because I didn't have a pass. *sigh* The only weird thing is I didn't eat ANY candy, and didn't get ANY sleep. and yet I was really hyper in the morning. Well, I finished my homework, and my parents are telling me to not sleep late because I haven't been getting my recommended sleep lately. Blame the school, they give us, students, so much damn homework, we're up to our elbows in it. But, I'm happy that I am done. All I have to do is this book report that's due in December. Yes! Success! Now, I'm going to take a shower and have a nice sleep. Good night.

Ethnicity and Geography FAIL

I just had to share this with you. Some fails that happened a year ago and a few days ago.

Here's the ethnicity fail: (happened a few days ago)

Girl: Say, where's your family from?

Me: Puerto Rico.

Girl: Oh! So you're Mexican?

Me: *face-meets-desk*

I had to explain to her that Mexicans are from Mexico, Puerto Ricans are from Puerto Rico, and this girl from across the room shouted, "And Spaniards are from Spain!" Nice to know.

Geography Fail: (happened a year ago)

Teacher: What is the most populated state? (Or largest state whatever? I don't remember.)

Girl: Oh! I know I know! CANADA!

Teacher: *dies of humiliation*

Get this. Her friend thought Mexico was a state also. Just because it's connected with America.

Kid: I'm moving to Belgium. Is Belgium in England? (EPIC FAIL.)

Another kid thought there were 52 states and another said, "No! There's 56!" Our L.A. teacher was LITERALLY slamming her head on her desk.

Trunk-Or-Treat, Give me Something Good to Eat!

Today at our church was the annual Trunk-Or-Treating! It's like trick-or-treating, only they get candies from the trunks of our cars! Our family dressed up as ice cream. I was a sundae, my mother was an ice cream cone, my brother was an ice cream sandwich, and my dad was the ice cream man! We painted our truck with random ice cream prices, and pictures of ice cream, and my dad got some ice cream truck music. The little kids were screaming "Look! ICE CREAM!" I knew something would happen so I wrote on the back window: Caution: The kids are after US! There was this HUGE line, and the kids were just screaming for ice cream, and one kid hugged me. Although, she said she wanted to eat me! Ha ha! I absolutely love kids, but they can be mysterious. My mom and I built a freezer before the special event, and we put a fog machine inside of it, so that when we opened it, it would be like a real freezer. Too bad, the thing stopped working, and I got the idea of putting my brother and I in the box, saying that we were "melting." Greatest idea ever! We were the sensation at the Trunk-Or-Treat! My mom is the best at picking out costumes. We're a sensation EVERY year!

Random Cartoon

This is a picture that I did for my Drawing 1 class. It was hung in the gallery with he other pictures. I colored this when I had a cold, and this thing was due the next day, and I had to stay home that day. But, I was able to finish it and it looks pretty good. Angry Birds is an addicting game that me and my brother like. He's better than me though. He's the game addict.

My Career Choice

For the past week, I've been looking up requirements for medical school, and what type of physician I would like to be. It's a very difficult choice, because there are so many things to choose from. My choices are:

• Gastroenterologist
• Neurologist
• Autism Spectrum Specialist
• OB/GYN
• Pediatrician
• Pharmacist
• ER Doctor
• Nurse
• Gastrologist
• Pediatric Neurologist
• Neuropsychiatrist

Well, those are some options. As you can see, most of them are dealing with the brain. My family's medical needs are based on the brain. Mostly around my brother, because he was diagnosed with autism. Also, most of my friends have autism spectrum's  So, maybe I'll become one of them Neuro's. Ha! I also thought of helping out kids. I absolutely love kids, and I'm thinking of having my one in the future. My mother told me to wait when I have a house, and money. So, I could support my family. My mom said to take my brother once I get a house. *Sigh* Anyways, another one is based on the stomach, or anything in the abdomen. That one is mostly related to me. I have a problem with nausea and I've been diagnosed with acid reflex. I've suffered with this for.......years. And, I'd like to help people with any stomach-related problems. And some others are being in the Emergency Department, being a Nurse, and working in the Pharmacy. I understand that doctors in the ER have to work long hours. And I can understand that. But, the only thing is I'm a nocturnal person. I've always hated mornings, I love to stay up late, and the latest that I've stayed up was to 5 in the morning. Although, that was because we were traveling by car to Las Vegas and it was LONG. So, when we got there, I was wide awake and didn't want to sleep. Another thing was that it was 4 in the morning in Colorado. I'd like to be a Nurse also, because they help out the most. Without them, doctors wouldn't be able to control the patients in the hospital. Nurse kind of like....stable the environment. That's what I think of them. And lastly, a pharmacist. It looks like a simple job from my perspective, but I'm sure it's pretty hard, since you have to know which drug is which. You don't want to mess up the meds for a patient. My hand will always be on paper, but my heart will always be in the ER. Lot of people don't care what I want to be and yet they tell me what they want to be. Um, a doctor can save your life. Can a fashion designer do that? I don't think so. It can only help the society's fashion sense. The most important reason why I want to become apart of the hospital is because people are confused about the myths. Not many people don't know about autism, people think that when someone has a seizure you put something in their mouth, my classmates think that when you sneeze your heart stops. It really frustrates me that they actually believe in that. When my mother used to work in Pizza Hut before she got pregnant with me, her coworker had a seizure. They put a giant spoon in her mouth. I thought that was crazy. My mother said it was to keep them from swallowing their tongue. It's impossible to swallow your tongue. That's why you put them on their side, so their tongue won't block their airway, and they won't choke on their vomit if they do vomit. Back in middle school, my classmate thought that when we sneezed, our hearts stopped. But, if your heart stops, it won't start up again, unless you did CPR and had the defibrillators. I found out that your chest is constricted and your blood flow may change their flow, but it definitely won't stop your heart, or else, you'd be dead. A friend of mine thought what would happen if your sneezed with your eyes opened and if it was possible that your eyes would pop out. Of course not. There are some people that sneeze with their eyes open, and there would need to be a greater force in order to pop your eyeball out. The blood pressure, however, increases a bit. I said to my friend that it's natural to sneeze with your eyes closed; it's just a reflex. The only thing that surprises me is how people don't know about the special ED. I understand that they aren't around it, and they won't learn about it. It crushes me to see a special ED get teased. It really does. My brother was bullied just because of his autism. They called him "stupid," and a "moron." I dealt with the kids myself. I told them, "What happened if you had no arms or legs? Do you want people teasing you about that? He's not stupid, he has a condition that makes him lack in social activity. Knock it off. It's mean, and it's hurtful. You don't want the same thing happening to you!" My friends with mental conditions get teased for their condition. I had to explain to the people that they had autism or cerebral palsy and such. It frustrates me with the bullying in the world. I'm sure they have something to hide. They're just trying to make their lives better by hurting others. I'm actually fascinated by people with conditions. I want to know if you have autism, I want to know if you have porphyria, I want to know if you have the rarest condition ever. I'd love to shake your hand. If you got bullied, I'm sorry. I feel ya. It's hard. I mostly feel bad for the people who have conditions that change them physically. But, they're a real huge inspiration to me to become a doctor.

Forever Back Pain

I don't have back pain, but my good guy friend does. I'm gonna call him "Mr. Naggy" He's pretty feminine and shows his emotions, that's why I like him. He's not gay, he's totally straight, but he's a guy that shows feelings. Anywho, onto the blog. I haven't seen him in a while. He's missed about 2 weeks worth of school, and he has been complaining of back pain the week before. I saw him during lunch, and was glad to see him back, but he didn't seem too happy. As I went to give him hug, welcoming him back, he was pretty depressed and gave a half-hug. He sat down and kept looking at his phone. My best friend, and her other Hispanic friend (she actually knew Spanish, and English is her second language. I'm gonna call her Yar.) wanted to read my story. I've been writing a story based on different perspectives of my chararcters. And as I was explaining the relationships, I saw Naggy start to cry. He wasn't sobbing, just tears were rolling down his face. Me and my best friend wanted to know, but he wouldn't say, so we left him alone. He told my best friend what happened, and he left lunch early. I asked my bestie what happened and she responded," It's his back." He's been to the hospital a few times to get checked out, but he still doesn't know. Apparently, they did some tests on him, and he hasn't gotten an answer. I decided to investigate myself. Though, it was hard to, because all he complained about was back pain. No fever, discoloration, bruising, nothing. My only answer was a muscle spasm or a strain. I strained my back before, and it didn't feel good. I remember bending down too quickly, and felt my muscle tear. Ouch. I had problems standing up straight, but I was able to sleep. I'm no doctor....yet. But, that's my best guess. Also, my dad is having some stomach problems, and I gave him some suggestions on some stuff he can eat that'll settle the stomach. My parents call me the "Doctor." I love that nickname!

My Pet Peeve- Words

I realized my pet peeve! I've noticed that these words have been bothering me for a LONG time! I don't know why, they just bother me! The words are....belly and tummy. Ugh! I don't know why, but those words bothered me. I've never said those words in my life. I've always said "stomach." Because it's proper! It's basically cute-ified words of the word "stomach." They just bother me a lot, maybe it's because I'm really mature or something. Whenever I hear people say these words, or I read them somewhere, they just like give me goosebumps, and I want to rip my hair out. It's strange. I hear these words form little kids, and when I visit my pediatrician. I remember going to my physician to get my nausea checked out, when she went to examine me, she said, "Okay. Now, I'm just going to check my belly." IT really irritated me and literally gave me goosebumps. I couldn't stand it. I say stomach and my parents say estomago, which is stomach in Espanol. I've always said stomach, even my little brother says it. The only thing my brother says kid-like is potty instead of like bathroom or something. Oh! I also can't stand the word, toilet! I don't know why! Belly, tummy, toilet, these words are giving me goosebumps!

Do You Know What I Hate: Challenges

You know those challenges on YouTube? Like the Cinnamon Challenge, Gallon of Milk Challenge, WarHeads Challenge, Banana Sprite Challenge, the ERASER Challenge, the Salt and Ice Challenge, and etc. It really makes me mad, because they're damaging themselves, and know the risk factors. But, they're so stupid and "into" the challenge, they end up doing it themselves. It's complete stupidity. You should know what happens because you already saw someone else do it. I think the Cinnamon Challenge is the stupid one. It dries out your mouth, absorbing all your saliva, and the people can't breathe and end up aspirating it. The cinnamon turns into little clumps and can clog up the airway. If aspirated, it can cause irritation, discomfort, burning, and/or itching. Vomiting is also another risk of doing the cinnamon challenge. (Source from Wikipedia- Cinnamon Challenge: Safety Hazards) Most people ignore these risks, and end up doing it anyway. Another one is the Eraser Challenge. I found out about it last year, and noticed what happened to my fellow peers. Apparently, you're suppose to...ummm...."erase" it on your skin really fast, and you end up with these burns on your skin. I saw most of my friends with these burns, and I asked what they were from, and they said that it was from the eraser challenge. Stupidity. Even my Math teacher thought it was stupid. He said whoever did the Eraser Challlenge is an idiot for doing it. And he's correct. My Emo-Demon-Like friend said she did it and she said,
"Usually two people do it, but if they BOTH use the eraser, it's basically passing bacteria, right?" Um, it's actually passing stupidity, my demon friend. People, please, look at the risks before attempting it yourself. I bet if people pay attention more, there won't be an idiots in the ER.

Why I'm learning Spanish

I was born in a Hispanic family, but raised as una gringa. My first word was in Spanish, but English is my main language. I feel like an idiot when I'm in the house, and my parents speak Spanish to each other. English is the language in our household but Spanglish is spoken. My mother speaks Spanglish to me, and with her friends. I also have Hispanic friends, and their accent is very strong, and they end up speaking Spanish to me. I have to say, "Umm, I don't speak Spanish~!" They always ask me why I am in ESL. I don't know why, but it all started when I started school in kindergarten. My brother doesn't speak Spanish either, and he was born in America, so he doesn't take ESL, but he does have to have a chaperone because of his autism. He doesn't take classes with the other special ED. He tries speaking Spanish, but it ends up turning into Gibberish. It's funny. I'm taking Spanish in my high school, and I've learned so much! I felt guilty for not speaking Spanish, because everyone tells me to learn Spanish so I could be bilingual and be able to communicate with people that don't speak English, and only Spanish. And most of friends can speak other languages, and it just makes me feel guilty and I didn't want to have bad, broken Spanish. So, I'm taking a class and learning from my parents. I'm doing really good so far, hope I can speak Spanish once I get out of high school.

"You're so pretty when you cry."

This quote was said my a female student walking by who saw me crying. Let me explain the story. Now, you know that I'm in love with this girl, but there's this other girl that was flirting on her. During lunch today, the flirty girl came to the table. She knew my friend who cut herself just 2 days ago. While they were talking to each other, I decided to tell flirty girl that I liked (let's call her Jo. That's her nickname anyways.) She already knew I was a lesbian. She was surprised and said that she liked her too. Boom! That's when it struck me. Now I didn't know this, but I assumed that we would be fighting over her, and I didn't want that, so I was a bit depressed during 4th hour. I walked out pretty quickly once the bell rung, and my cutting friend (let me call her....Irine. I heard she's from Ireland and it sounds close to Ireland. I love her Irish accent!) was walking next to me. She asked, "What's wrong?" I kept quiet. She asked again, "Marie, what's wrong?" I responded with a "Nothing. It's nothing." Tears started to form. We were near the Dean's Den and she grabbed my arm and pulled me near it. She looked at me straight in the eye and asked me again, "What is wrong?" The tears were really flowing and I told her about Flirty Girl and Jo and started bawling. And she told me this, "Now I know Flirty. She's very sweet and she'll never become between two people who are in love. Now come here." She let me hug her, and a crowd started gathering. Literally! People kept asking me why I was crying and then Flirty Girl came. She hugged me too and one girl was like" You're so pretty when you cry." That was the one quote I remember. I felt better and went to my 5th hour class. My friends who were with my in 5th hour asked why I was crying and Cutesie was like" Are you ok? Do I need to punch someone?" Haha! I love her! But, I feel better. Even me and Flirty Girl are talking and she says that she just likes to flirt. Nothing for real. And she says that Jo may like me. :)

Is it stress or do you just do this?

During lunch, my friend told me she cut herself last night, and another friend of mine said she overdosed herself on meds. Does everyone want to end their life when they have so much ahead of them? I understand that they are stressed but suicidal thoughts aren't the answer. I'm just glad it wasn't too serious. My friend cut her wrist, while the other only got sick and is moody. I've never dealt with this till I started middle school. When I became friends with my best friend, she suffered horrible depression. She was always moody. I remember when she would have outburst of crying episodes during class and passing period. I've tried everything to cheer her up, everything. Now, her depression isn't too severe, but there are those episodes, because of "high school stress." Even I have that, but I don't just go and cut myself. I still remember when my best friend turned to me in the hallway and said that she was going to end her life. I was in total shock, and she walked away, leaving me to stand there. When I got home, I bawled my eyes out. She was my one and only friend that was ever good to me, kept secrets, never fought with, and we've been friends longer than any other friend that I had. She's my best friend and I don't want to lose her. I've asked outside help, and they always told me to tell a counselor, or at least a therapist. I kept the idea in my head, and kept it in there, in case she gets those suicidal thoughts. Now, my other friends are planning to hospitalize themselves! It's ridiculous, think before you act. I really want to help, but I feel like there's nothing I can do. They tell me not to tell, and I get that feeling to at least tell someone, and to get help. Why can't I help them? Why can't I save them from the Grim Reaper taking them away? Why can't I help them from going into a comatose? What can I do?

80's Girl

I wasn't born in the 1980's, but I've been addicted to it ever since I was a little girl. My parents constantly listened to 90's, 80's, 70's, even 60's. So, my brother and I grew up with it. My brother didn't like it too much, but  he loved those old games from the Atari. Me on the other hand, I was addicted to the shows, music, and style. Back in my middle school, we had a Spirit Week, and one of the day's was at least a Blast from the Past, and I would dress up as my mother from her high school. 80's baby! Any who, today in my Literature class, we have to analyze lyrics to songs, and the teacher chose 80's song, no whining. I was really excited because I loved the 80's. The song that she made us listen to was, "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel! OMG! I know the lyrics! A question that she asked us was who the original artist was. Of course, Billy Joel. She told me in the first 10 years, I was finally able to identify the artist of the song. She was really proud. After, I left school, I started listening to 80's, 70's, and even 90's songs. The song was stuck in my head, and I had to listen to my 80's songs. What was your favorite song from the 1960's, 1970's, 1980's, or 1990's? Or older. Tell me! My favorite is "Who's Johnny?" By El DeBarge. 1968! Also, loved the Short Circuit movie.

Pros and Cons of having an Autistic Brother

Let me start off with the cons first. First of all, he's annoying. He won'ts stop getting on my nerves. Autism has a problem with social skills, but since his autism is mild, he constantly talks and talks and TALKS. Even if I ask nicely to be quiet, he'll make a smart ass comeback. Second, he's lazy~! Now, his grade isn't my problem, but I worry about it. He's just lazy, and refuses to do his work, and ends up getting detention. Third, he doesn't LISTEN. If something is boring for him, he'll ignore you, but when he talks, he wants you to listen. I have no patient, and ignore him, but my mother says to listen to him, so he'll leave you alone. It doesn't work, mom! Another thing is his constant need for attention. He complains if he has to go to school, or if he doesn't get what he wants. My mother is peeved about that, and he's been apologizing for what he has done, and she forgave him that quickly. Lastly, he's rude~! He will yell at you for anything. In my household  we're not allowed to use the words, "stupid," or "hate." My mother thinks of them to be very strong words, so if we hate something, we have to say we "don't like" it. It doesn't bother me, but today, my brother called me stupid. And we were in the car, on our way home. Me being the grumpy young teen, I told my mother, and said said in a stern voice," (Let's call my brother Mario because he is OBSESSED with Mario, just like me with Sonic.) Mario, please don't say that to your sister. That's mean." And he did his dumb pouty face and said pity-like "sorry." I really hate his pity sorries.
Now onto the pros! I may think of my brother to be a nuisance, but there are some good things about him. First off, he's funny. He makes some cheesy jokes, but he makes my mother and I laugh. Most of the time, it's because he doesn't listen and ends up hearing something else. Example: Two summers ago, on July 4th, we went to see the fireworks, and they didn't have them. We did see some, but it wasn't.....adrenaline pumping. While on our depressing ride home, I asked my brother a few questions. One of the questions I asked him was "Mario, who is the president of the United States now?" and he shrugged and responded, that he didn't know. I gave him the answer, which was Barack Obama. And his eyes lightened up and he said, "What? Uncle Mama?!" My mother and I were cracking up so hard, we ended up crying. It was too funny. A second thing that's good about him, is he's sympathetic. If someone cries, he cries. He's very sweet, and will do anything to cheer you up. A third thing is he has awesome shirts that my mother buys. They're very funny, and he's popular in his school now. Lastly, he's got some cute ideas when he plays with his little toys. He always wants me to watch, and they end up being cute or funny. I'm kind of glad my brother is here. He suffered from Hodgkin's lymphoma and nearly died. It was a very tear jerking moment. Although, he gets on my nerves and everyone else in my family, he can be very sweet and funny. The only problem with him is getting him to do his homework!