Christmas Addiction

Merry Christmas everyone. I'm having a pretty good Christmas. I got expensive presents and my brother got more than me. One of the presents was a Microsoft Surface and I already had an iPad. I took out all my pictures, videos, and anything that could belong to me and gave it to my mother as a Christmas gift since she got everyone gifts and she didn't really get anything. I left some games of mine on there like Unblock Me, and Flow. She wanted to try the Flow game and guess what? Now she's a Flow addict! I love the game myself and so does my dad, and my brother, and now my MOTHER. Ay, the whole family is addicted. They called me up a while ago to help them with one of the levels. I love puzzle games, but I never knew they could be so addicting. Good luck to me.

Hot Chocolate

I haven't drank hot chocolate since maybe the 4th grade I think. I've been meaning to drink it again, but chocolate has been making me nauseous and now I'm afraid of hot liquids. I can't believe I still remember this. Alright, I think this happened in 4th grade or so. All I know is that it was in elementary school. I was still living in Germany at the time. During lunch, they were giving out hot chocolate for the little kids. It was free and many of my classmates and friends were getting it. I decided to try some of my own. The elementary school I went to was very small and had many, many, MANY kids. The cafeteria wasn't able to hold all of us, especially with the limited tables. I got a cup of hot chocolate and placed it on my tray. I went back to my table and it was getting awfully crowded. We had to keep scooting down the seats and my hot chocolate was about to spill out. Now, I get these spaced out moments, which I still do. I don't remember what happened, but a kid knocked into me and knocked the scorching cup of hot chocolate onto my lap. It splashed onto the ground and onto my abdomen. I started crying, because it was BURNING my lap. They had to take me to the nurse for a bag of ice. I was also wet and it left a light brown stain on the front of my pants. I had to walk around the rest of the school day with wet pants, a hot lap, and a cold bag of ice inbetween my legs. I haven't drank hot chocolate since that day. Or any other hot liquid, besides soup. But, that's a different story.

What Should I be Looking Out For?

People keep freaking out that the world is going to end on December 21st. Now, I don't believe that. Some stuff are true from the Mayan calendars, but aren't the Mayans form Mexico? Wouldn't they have focused on that one area? In other parts of the world, it's already the next day. And once it hits midnight where I live, I'm sure it'll already be December 22nd somewhere else. I was reading comments on a YouTube video where they say they have "proof" that the world is going to end tomorrow. Most of the comments were form Australians. My favorite would have to be this one Australian saying "It's December 21st here. WTF." So funny! Gotta love Australians. I believe the world will end when God says it will. So far, I didn't get a message from the Lord saying the world is going to end. Plus, tomorrow is my parent's wedding anniversary. So, my mom doesn't believe in it either but she ends up joking saying, "Wah! The world's going to end on ym anniversary." I really love my mom. I'm sure tomorrow will be like any ordinary/crappy day. Good night everyone! If it's somewhere else then.......good morning. *giggle*

I'm Sick and I Looked Up More School Shootings

I think I got what my mother had before a few days ago. It started with a little sore throat, then I woke up this morning feeling like crap. My body was achy, my nose was runny/stuffy, my head was pounding, and I felt really dizzy. I didn't have a fever but I felt like absolute crap. I'm just glad that my winter break started early. I fell asleep in my parents' bed while they were in the bed, watching tv. They were watching the aftermath of the Connecticut shooting, and I decided to watch some of it. Later, my parents had breakfast while I skipped out on it. My mother went on my father's laptop and started looking up the Columbine shooting. My mother wants to go see the school; she's interested in true crimes that contain family violence.  I don't blame her, it's actually quite interesting to me too. She was watching the documentary of how the shooting was planned out. The video was about 40 minutes long. I fell asleep during half of it. The first half. I payed attention to the last part and then my mother looked at the Virginia Tech massacre. When I looked up some of the shootings, it had to be with either teens or adults that are just an emotional wreck. Either they have a mental disorder or they were bullied. These people are just messed up that they end up going into a shooting spree. Just like the Aurora shooting, where the guy was a medical school drop out and he just went and shot the people at the Batman premiere that night. The scary thing was we were just at the theater to see Ice Age 4. Next morning, Aurora is all over the news. Whenever something like this happens at a school or somewhere else, my mother gives me extra love and thanks God that we're with her. Here's an important lesson in this: Be nice to the people around you. You never know if they're going to snap one day.

Ever Since the School Shooting in Connecticut

My winter break already started but my brother still have this last week. My brother is in middle school and the shooting that happened, happened at an elementary school. My mother just received an e-mail that here will be police roaming around schools in the area. When I went to middle school, they always had police officers around my school just to guide traffic. Now that I'm in high school, we always have police officers because of the constant fighting every day. We always get a small visit from the firetruck and ambulance. My friend is constantly in love with the firemen because of how cute they were. I really don't pay attention to that; my attention would be on the ambulance and paramedics. I don't care if they're cute, I just love ambulances. The pure white, the big red cross, the gurney parked inside-- I'm sorry I'm getting off track. So, now we're going to have police cars roaming around the area of schools. My brother's school is pretty close to where we live and it takes just about 5 minutes to drive him there. My mother worries deathly about us whenever we are at school. Me, because I'm a total klutz and there are fights always going on, and my brother is a special ed. So, after the shooting, she's watching carefully now. I'm sure all the moms and dads out there who saw the shooting are watching your children more carefully now. It's a parents' worst nightmare to hear that their child was in a school shooting or at least an accident. I've never been in a school shooting but back in middle school, we had a lock down, because there was a bear on base. But, the ones that happen constantly are the fire drills. Most of the ones at my school are real ones but they're aren't big fires. They're these little ones that trigger the fire alarms and send firetrucks speeding through the empty road. It's a little ridiculous, to me, but if there's a fire, they have to come. I think the police officers, however, are getting payed a lot where we are because of the constant fighting in my school. I'm scared that one day it'll turn into a school shooting. This kid brought a knife to school once, and was arrested, when he threatened to stab a kid and ended up getting into a big fight with them. So, I'm gonna pray that there won't be a school shooting at mine or any schools, such as my brother's. God Bless you all. Sorry Newtown, Connecticut for the horrific tragedy that happened to you all.

Laptops Aren't Meant To Protect Your Balls

I have these 2 awesome guy friends. One of them will be Chuckie (you know form Rugrats, plus he looks like him) and the other will be.....Sleepy. (He always falls asleep in Art class) These guys are really awesome; they make me laugh and they always tease me. They usually tease my emo friend but they would mostly tease me because she's usually in a bad mood and she squeaks like a mouse if her sides are touched. We always talk about sensitive spots that make you jump and they always poke my sides. I yelp a little bit but now it doesn't really bother me. One day, Sleepy did it to me and I yelped. I looked back at him and said, "One day I'm going to elbow you in the balls!" Now, he was standing slightly by my side but also behind me. I was sitting on a stool and it was possible for a bulls eye. He immediately grabbed his laptop and put it in front of his area. "This will protect me." He says. I thought it would work and I elbowed the laptop. Bad idea. He felt the full blow and leaned forward and quickly put the laptop back on the table. I couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the hour while drawing. Don't worry, he was fine. It didn't hurt that bad, but it's just a boy's instinct to feel that because of all the nerves. Take a note will you boys: Laptops aren't meant to protect your balls.

Coming up Next: Winter Break

On Wednesday, and today were the finals. I was so nervous; I was just afraid of getting a bad grade. Guess what? I bombed both my Algebra and Biology test! Oh joy~! Ugh! I felt so embarrassed. They said the finals were 20% of our grade. If we failed, it could bring us down a letter grade or two. If we did alright, then it could raise us a letter grade. I felt so bad, because I worked hard in order to maintain my grade. I have all A's and like 2 B's. These finals really yanked on my hair for the past few days. When I found out I bombed two tests, I just wanted to drop down to my knees and cry. I've tried so hard and I feel like it was for nothing. My friends did horrible on their tests too. I didn't really feel bad because they failed other quizzes we had in the past. Another bad thing is that it's not over yet. I have to take two more tests for 2 other classes. For the past 2 days, the schedule was really messed up. If there was a test in that class, they made it longer. If the test isn't until the next day, they would shorten it. I was really confused on which classes had tests and what other classes had tests the next day. For tomorrow, it's a half day. I'll only be there for 2 and a half hours, because it's only two more tests. These last tests that I have are Civics and Health. Civics was very difficult for me and I never asked for help. I'm in an Honors class and these kids are so smart. I moved from my average class to my honors because 95% of the class failed their test and had to review old stuff again. So, I was moved. At first, it seemed to simple, but when I heard that if you missed an assignment, you would get detention. Never in my life have I had a detention and I wasn't going to start now nor ever. I was able to maintain an A in that class, but it was just too confusing. I'm really shy but I love talking to teachers. But, for this class, it was just hard and I went back into my shell. I didn't bother to answer or ask questions. Now, I'm scared that I'll bomb both my Civics and Health test. I'm really nervous. I went to check my grade to see how much the test affected my current grade. I actually didn't affect it that much. It brought it down to like...ummm...how could I explain this? Like, I had like a 97% in Math and the test turned it into a 90.3%. Actually not that bad, and my Biology grade isn't a C, it's still a B. So glad that worked out. My Literature teacher said that the first Semester of high school was going to be hard. Trust me, it was. I can't wait till tomorrow, because after tomorrow it's a half day, I'll be done with the 2 tests and my winter break will start. After winter break, the second semester will come and I'll ace it. I'm gonna pray tonight that I do good on my last two tests. Good night!

My Best Friend

My best friend and I have been best friends since the first year of middle school. When I first met her, she was really quiet. The first thing I noticed was her big eraser and it said on it, "For BIG Mistakes." I thought it was a little silly and we both looked at each other. It got very awkward between us and we didn't talk much on the first day. The next day, she sat with me during lunch. I started noticing that we had almost every class together. We started hanging out with each other, and became good friends. During choir, I used to draw while the teacher taught. If we didn't practice on singing, she would just teach us about different composers and so. So, I would draw during those periods and my new friend, Savan, (that'll be her nickname; very close to her name) would watch me draw my Sonic characters. She started following in my footsteps by getting into Sonic and started drawing her own Sonic characters. We both made a new "friend." After we got to know her, I started realizing that she was just a mean bitch. She started taking away my new friend and stole from her. I had to tell my new friend and she said, "She told me that you're lying." I felt like my heart was splitting apart. They started hanging out and the witch started bossing her around. Savan was very innocent and fragile; more innocent than me. She then started getting depressed. I just thought it was the bullying from the witch. It turns out she had depression for a long time and her mother has it too. Her parents are divorced because of domestic abuse. Her mother started getting depressed due to that and pretty much got the life sucked out of her. My friend, Savan, started turning into her mother; stressed and depressed. I couldn't bare it anymore and wanted to help out. But, that witch kept pushing me away and found ways to really stretch my heart out. I went to my mother for advice and she told me to ignore her. It took months for my new friend to come back to me. She had enough of the witch's shenanigans. We started collecting our broken friendship and put it back to together. But, the witch came back and smashed it with a hammer. She took her away again and I was once again alone. I had other friends, but they left me too. They had other friends and started hanging out with them, and left me alone at lunch. I was really stressed out during 6th grade and really couldn't take it anymore. My friend came back and I decided to give her ground rules. Never ever mention the witch's name or talk about her with each other. We started fixing up our friendship and we celebrated the awesome 3 years of our best friendship. There are times where her depression strikes her and she gets those crying episodes. I remember she started crying and we couldn't ask her why. She didn't even know why. She ended up being diagnosed with depression. ( You know just to be sure. ) We're now in high school and things have been great. Well, except for the stressful classes and trying to spend time with each other. Today wasn't a good day, because these boys went through her stuff and took her flashdrive. They ended up looking through her personal stuff. She was so upset. They apologized but she's still pissed off about it. She couldn't stop crying through lunch, and I couldn't see her tears roll down her cheeks. If one of us cried, one of us would react and cry. It was a chain reaction; I tried my best to comfort it. I was really good at the advice. She would ask me and I would give it to her. She always felt better after my advice. Back in middle school, I didn't know what to say and stayed silent. I remember her coming up to me and saying she wanted to kill herself. I stood there, blank stare, and she walked off. I wanted to cry so badly. I didn't want my best friend to die. I knew she was my true friend. Whenever I got sick, she would come with me to the office so I could call my mom. When I started crying, I would hide in the bathroom, and she would follow. Whenever she cried, I tried everything to comfort her. I drew her pictures, and I bought her gifts. I sometimes gave her treats, but what I liked to do was hold her and wait until she calmed down. Sometimes I would whisper stuff to her, saying that everything was ok, and not to worry about it. I hate to see her cry and when she cried today during lunch, I had to do something. Right now, I'm drawing her something and I texted her saying, "Wear your best friend necklace tomorrow. No questions asked." She was pretty questionable but agreed to it. Tomorrow, I'm going to give her the picture and just tell her that she means everything to me. This girl means everything to me. We've been through so many hard times, and we made it through. I love her. She's my best friend. My true friend, in fact. She's just the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't care what people think of us. If we're crazy,alright, we're crazy. No matter what the world says we'll never break apart. I would do anything for her. I remember when she told me that if we were never friends, she would be dead. I'm so glad she stuck through all the hard times. I'm so proud of her. The only thing I worry about is that she's still innocent and I'm afraid of how she'll be in the outside world. I'm afraid of her getting raped or get pregnant early. I'm scared to death if something happens to her. I always watch her, make sure she's safe. As long as I see her smile or laugh, I'm ok. It's hard writing this; I can't cry without mentioning our story.

Lucky Leftie Fetus

Ever since I could remember, I always slept on the left side of the bed, on my left side, in a fetal position. My left arm would be near my head sometimes, but mostly under my head beside it. Then my right arm would be on top of the blanket or on my left arm. My body would always be curled up, my knees bent as if I were in fetal position. I was always comfortable in this condition, and I never slept on my right or on my back. Of course, I woke up with my left arm feeling like pins and needles, but it was usually worth it. The only time I would sleep on my back or on my right side is if I was sick. I would always get nauseous or get vertigo and sit my pillows up right and sleep in a upright position for the rest of the night. I never slept on my back because I'm a bit overweight and my body fat from my abdomen, like sinks in or just lays on top of me and I feel like I could suffocate at night and I could feel it sink inside me, just pushing on me. So, I slept on my side. I've slept on my left side for years. I tried sleeping on my right side, but somehow that just made me dizzy and I could feel the room spinning, or sometimes feel like my eyes would roll into my head. I just stuck to sleeping on my left side. I would always sleep on the left side of the bed too, never the right side, and I only slept in the middle is I were sick. I only slept on the right side when there was a wall near it, but I would still lay on my left side. I was always scared of something touching my back during the night, so somtimes I would freak out if my pillow touched my back. So, I always had my back to the wall when it was on the right side. It was harder when my bed was facing the other way. I wanted my back touching the wall, but then I would have to lay on my right side. My bed right now has no walls touching it except the headboard. The left side of my bed is facing my dresser and the small flat screen tv (I mean small) above the dresser. The bed isn't too close to the dresser so I won't hit my head in the night. I may sleep in one position but my head moves a lot. It would stay with my body, look straight ahead, or sometimes a little bit to the right. I told my Art Club mate that I slept on my left side on the left side of my bed, and she told me that it was good luck sleeping on the left side. I don't believe in good or bad luck. Since I was born on Friday the 13th, people have been freaking out. They called my the "Bad Luck Baby," back in elementary school. I don't sleep on the left side because it's good luck, I just been sleeping like that ever since I was like a small child. I like the left side, and I like sleeping on my left side. The fetal position confuses me though. I'm still scared of the dark a bit, so I'm guessing the fetal position makes me feel safer. I also had other weird things when I was sleeping. If an object was hanging above me and I think that's it unstable, I changed to the foot of the bed. I never let any part of my body (legs, arms, feet, toes) stick out of my blanket. It wasn't because I was cold I always believed sometime would grab me. I still fear that would happen. I NEVER let my arms hang off the bed. I'm still scared that something hides under my bed. I never look around when it's dark. I refuse to touch or look at the right side of the bed when I'm about to fall asleep. I fear that something will appear on that side. So, those are my sleeping/bed flaws. Do you think the left side of the bed is lucky? And you have anything (flaws, lucky things, whatever) that you do before or after bed?

The Miracle of Life

In Health class today, we were learning about the reproductive systems. This was my favorite unit by far, because before he teacher gave the answers I said in a low voice the answer, and then he would repeat it out loud. Like this:
Teacher: Now number 3 is...
Me: *very low voice that I couldn't hear myself* vas deferens.
Teacher: Number 3 is the vas deferens.
Me: *thinks* Score!
I knew both the male AND female reproductive systems. I did my research over the summer. I felt really proud that I knew that. Anyways, today we were going to watch a video. A BIRTHING video. The first part was really boring, explaining about the female's and male's reproductive system.
"This is the ovary. When an egg is released, it is known as ovulation. When sperm comes through and fertilizes the egg, the egg will then implant into the uterine wall." Blah blah blah. I get it.Everybody else was bored too. The teacher fast forwarded it to the best part. The birth. When the head slowly came out, most of the boys were screaming in agony or in disgust. The girls were disgusted, while me laughing so hard because of the guys' expressions. Some of them were just yelling how disgusting it was or they hid their faces in their jackets. On guy shouted during the video, "I came out of that?!" The teacher very sarcastically yet in a very amusing way to me said, "Yes." I responded, "I didn't come out of that. I came out here. *pointing to my abdomen*" My brother and I were both Cesarean babies. Years later, my mother's uterus was removed because she had a certain type of tumor on the uterus, and she isn't able to have any more babies. My mother was thrilled. She never wanted kids but she loves us dearly. (or does she?) I found out that I'm actually the second born. There was a girl before me but she was a stillborn. Saddening, I know. But, my mother says if she was alive today, my brother wouldn't be born. Anywho, back to the video, I was the only person laughing while everyone is in complete disgust and horror. While I was laughing, I described what was happening. "Look there's the head! Now the shoulders! The baby's out!" Best part, no one told me to shut up. The teacher said, "If you don't like seeing this now, I would not have intercourse yet." Best. Birth. Control. Ever. Just show a birthing video to the high school students, and I'm sure they don't want to see that, OR feel that if they were female. I told my best friend after school during Art Club, and she thought of having a baby of her own. I was like, "Are you sure? That's painful. You don't know how that head gets through. And the agonizing hours of labor too! I recommend you get an epidural if you have no tolerance for pain." I know I won't give birth. I'm adopting. For sure!